Don Foster MP is not releasing a Christmas Number One single

Despite a press release gone out to suggest otherwise, I can assure all concerned music lovers, politicos and those that like to keep a slim grip on reality that Don Foster MP is not releasing a single to compete for the coveted Christmas number one slot.

The nation’s media was swept up into an excited storm over reports that Mr Foster might be releasing a single that included his infamous ukulele playing. Sadly, it turned out to have a terribly simple explanation. An official statement read:

“Following the alarmingly large amount of calls to the office this morning asking for more information about Don’s Christmas single, I regret to inform you that Don will not be releasing a Christmas single – for this year at least!!
 
For those that have been fortunate enough to hear Don sing at least he leaves the possibility open!
 
Here in full is the troublesome press release:
 
Bath MP plots late charge for Christmas No 1 
(Join Don for a festive celebration to mark the launch!)
 
 
Don Foster, MP for Bath, has announced he will be releasing his first solo record in an attempt to gain the coveted top spot in the singles chart this Christmas.
 
Ranking in the top 25 of Bath’s most prominent Ukulele virtuosos, Foster last night decided that it was “high time” he put his skills on show for the benefit of the city.
 
Earlier this week, Sir Cliff Richard commented that “X Factor had killed the Christmas Number 1”. Inspired by the veteran crooner’s words and the example set by Rage Against The Machine in 2009, Foster has vowed to give Simon Cowell a run for his money this year.
 
Commenting, Liberal Democrat Spokesperson for Culture, Media and Sport, Don Foster said:
 
“Since I was a lad, I’ve dreamed about being Christmas number 1. I’ve just got a feeling that this could be my year”
 
“Roni Size and Massive Attack had the Bristol sound in the 90’s, well now you’re about to get a load of the Bath Sound… Ukuleles and Sleigh Bells”
 
Commenting on the news, Kris Kringle of Ukulele Maestro Magazine, said:
 
“This is fantastic news for the Ukulele fraternity. Ever since that explosive 2009 performance at the Lib Dem Conference, tens of people have been asking me, when will Foster go solo? Well now we have the news we’ve all been waiting for”
 
“The dream ticket would be to get Simon Hughes and Billy Bragg back on board for the track. I’m pretty sure they’d have Frankie Cocozza and that X-factor mob running for the hills”
 
To mark the single launch, Don is inviting all Press Contacts and the B&NES Lib Dem Council Group to a festive party at xxx, on xxx, between xx and xx
 
RSVP by replying to this email or calling 01225 338973
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