Tag Archives: comedy

Tackling homophobic Christians through comedy

I was reading about Christianity and homophobia in Vanessa Baird’s book, “Sex, Love & Homophobia” and I came across a comedy letter.  It highlights what can happen if you chose to read the bible out of context. The letter was written in reaction to Dr Laura Schlesinger (a US broadcaster who quoted Leviticus 18:22 on her show to justify why she thought homosexuality was a sin). Thought you might enjoy.

The letter reads:

Dear Dr Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

     a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

     b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

     c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

     d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

     e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

     f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

     g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

     h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

     i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

     j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

     I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

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Filed under Religion, sexuality

Comedy highlights from Twitter during the General Election

There are many people who see Twitter as a waste of time, indeed, I have only just come round to the idea.  For now, I would like to concentrate on the comedy potential of it.  Check out some of these Tweets I came across during the election.

sianberry sianberry

So ‘The Markets’ are ok this morning. ‘Distracted by Greece’. Are they run by a three-year-old child?

C4News election C4election

RT@thejimsmith:Why are the LibDems like a London Bus? They’ve just under 60 seats & are now run by the Tories. #dontdoitnick #ge2010 #libcon

Maryam Hassan maryamphotos

What’s the difference between the BNP and a bus? A bus has seats.

Jimmy Carr jimmycarr

RT @martin_the_twit: @jimmycarr good to see the voting system works in this country. I voted for no-one, and they won!

@thefridgeman (aka Tony Hawks)

Have been to the voting booth. I spoiled my paper. I gave it a packet of sweets and told it to take the rest of the day off.

OK, so I follow some of the most boring political geeks in the country.  But I just thought it was nice that people kept their sense of humour as every party essentially did terribly and after a sleepless night we knew no more than the exit polls told us the night before.

Incidentally, you can follow me on twitter here 🙂

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Filed under Politics